You're So Beautiful
by wonderwoundedhearers
Summary: Set after Ep. 9 'Cold Blood'. Rory's dead, Amy doesn't remember, and both her and the Doctor are fighting their feelings for each other. What happens when the fantasy unravels and the truth comes out? O/s. Lem.


Amy sat staring at the TARDIS monitor – she was watching a nebula spinning out into all kinds of brilliant colours as it burst and exploded. She had been watching it for exactly three hours, and the Doctor couldn't understand why. Yes, it was beautiful and extraordinary, but there was no enthusiasm from Amy – he didn't think she was really watching.

_But then_, the Doctor thought as he observed from a crouched position at the top of the stairs, _what _was _she seeing?_

Amy had no idea the Doctor was watching her – since she was so far into her thoughts – but if she had, then she certainly would have done something about it. In fact, she would have done several somethings, and all in different positions around the TARDIS. Furthermore, without even realising it, she had been fantasizing about those exact events when, if she had just turned her head, she might have had a chance to catch him and really do something about them.

Her almost-catatonic state was down to the Doctor, and his lack of recent attention to her. Amy had been seeing him as more than an alien man who could show her other worlds for quite a long time, but more recently she felt she could…or _should_, do something about it. She thought of all the ways she could approach him, or hint, or insinuate, but every time they came remotely close to straying into that kind of territory, the Doctor would find some kind of interesting plant, or he would gasp and run off saying he had forgotten to lock the TARDIS door.

In fact, the Doctor had been _so_ insistent not to even touch her for longer than a second, that Amy was becoming quite offended, and she was considering going back to her life on Earth for while – after all, if she's not wanted then why should she stay?

But the fantasies kept coming – over the TARDIS controls, on the see-through floor panels, on the twisting stairs… She knew her mind would keep spinning these day-dreams until she tried to make them a reality.

That reality might have to wait for Amy though, for the Doctor was quite happy in keeping his distance. Well, he wasn't _happy_ – he thought it was ghastly, and he missed Amy a great deal – but she had forgotten Rory, and he was worried about her. He knew that even though she couldn't remember him right now, memories could be triggered by the slightest of things – the light may have made it so Rory had never existed, but it couldn't take away the part of Rory that lived inside of Amy.

The Doctor had made a vow to not do _anything_ that could in _any way _trigger a memory for Amy – he was sure she would break. It was like déjà vu for the Doctor – Donna and Amy were now so similar: both unable to remember for fear of obliteration. Of course, Donna's would be literal, but the Doctor knew that Amy's would be just as devastating.

So, the Doctor sat and watched Amy become more distant, colder, and he hated himself for it – to be honest, he was sure that sooner or later he would go mad without her and do something he would quite regret…or not, as the case may be. For days he had been having the strangest nightmares – if one would call them nightmares – about Amy with absolutely nothing on except a sexy, come-hither expression that made his knees shake. No, they were absolutely not nightmares, but they were definitely as disconcerting as one.

Amy had lost Rory and completely forgotten him two weeks ago, and here he was having sexy dreams about her.

_Oh, and what dreams they were…_ He sighed internally.

He sat down quietly on the top step of the stairs, as his knees began to weaken from his thoughts. He knew that although Amy had tried to kiss him before, it didn't mean that she wanted him now – humans could change their minds quite easily, and girls especially. He couldn't take a chance on Amy to have his hearts broken – once the Doctor had loved someone, he never stopped. Maybe it was best to stay away from Amy, for fear of rejection…

No, no, no… _Rory_. The Doctor was staying away from Amy for Rory's sake…and Amy's for that matter! There were no personal, wishy-washy feelings involved – none whatsoever… Maybe just a few.

The Doctor sighed, he was between the Falstar galaxy and the Polsha region – two notoriously rocky and hard places. If he stayed away he felt lonely and sad, and he missed Amy so the dreams of her were a welcome relief. But then if he spent more time with Amy he felt _too_ happy and excited, so much that he would most certainly act on his dreams.

Amy was making it astoundingly difficult for the Doctor even now, without realising it. He watched her fiery, tumbling curls and longed to run his fingers through them, tug them, and bury his face in them. He studied her soft, pink lips and could imagine running his thumb over them, kissing her sweetly, and engaging her tongue with his in a sensual battle. He could imagine that delicious form beneath his own, or above his own, and he felt himself tremble with want and desire.

He decided then and there to stay away from Amy Pond – that is, until she came to him. He wouldn't put himself out for rejection, and for the sake of Rory he wouldn't chase her, but if she came to him was an entirely different matter – he wouldn't be able to send her away.

Amy had no idea that the lines had been drawn, for she was drawing one of her own – if the Doctor didn't come to her, she would go to him and damn the consequences.

* * *

"Come _on_, Amy!" The Doctor cried excitedly, as he watched the black hole from the open TARDIS door.

He had been wandering space for an hour or so, trying to find somewhere nice for Amy, when he spotted the colossal space giant eating away at the matter around him. He knew Amy would be interested, so he called her down from wherever she was upstairs, and when she appeared at the top of the staircase clad in only a very short towel, he knew why she had been so insistent for him to 'hold his horses'. The Doctor had cajoled her into coming down immediately with a few short threats about him coming up to get her himself, and now he wished he _had_ held his damn horses.

Even though he had drawn his lines a week ago, the Doctor was still slightly terrified of Amy and the power she held over him – now, with her wet curls floating down her back and her creamy thighs on full-display, she was tugging at his control.

_No_, he thought, _she has to come to me…_

He plastered on a fake smile as she rushed down the stairs towards him, "Amy! Look!"

He pointed out the door at the black hole, and even though Amy was more fascinated with the Doctor and the changes in his expressions since she appeared, she squealed with delight and ran to the door. It was a truly beautiful sight to behold, and she watched in awe.

"This is as close as we can get, right?" She asked, and the Doctor nodded and swallowed a lump in his throat, watching as a bead of water travelled down her shoulder.

"Yes," he managed, finding his voice, "It'll pull us in if we get any closer."

Amy nodded, and watched the black hole for a few more minutes, before she became increasingly aware of the Doctor's heated gaze. She hadn't _meant_ to have a shower when she was needed by him, but she might have ignored his first few calls, in case he came to get her – her bathroom fantasy had been the one she most enjoyed so far.

She watched the Doctor out of the corner of her eye, and he seemed quite fascinated with the length of her legs – his gaze wandered up and down them, with a dreamy, appreciative smile on his lips.

Amy internally gasped – he _did _want her.

She turned to him fully, not even pretending to be unaware of the Doctor's visual wanderings, "Why the run-around, Doctor?"

He coughed in surprise at being caught, "Excuse me?"

"Why have you been doing this? Do you know I was _this _close to leaving?" She said, holding up her finger and thumb which were tightly pressed together.

"W-what?" He stammered – he had almost made her leave?

Nothing in the universe was worth that… Except Rory.

Guilt hit him in the face, and the Doctor took three stumbling steps away from Amy, his temptress. He couldn't do _anything_ – this was Rory's _fiancée, _and he had completely disrespected that.

"Tell me why you've been ignoring me, avoiding me?" She sighed, slowly inching towards the Doctor as he pressed himself against the safety railing.

"I… I can't," he replied, wanting to tell her everything and then just God-damn kiss her.

"Tongue-tied? I can help you loosen it," she said softly, letting the towel drop a little and uncover the top of her breasts.

The Doctor almost gasped at the feelings coursing through him, from seeing that tiny bit of previously unseen flesh.

"No… Amy, you have to stop – for your own good," he tried to say firmly, but his voice shook as she came closer, trapping him against the railing.

He watched her eyes darken dangerously, and she pressed herself against him without a second thought – her arms snaked around his neck, so now the towel was only being held up by their position. The Doctor immediately wrapped his arms around her, thinking that proximity was the lesser of two evils – he couldn't imagine what he would do if the towel dropped… Well, actually he could, and that was why he couldn't let it happen.

"There, Doctor. Isn't that better?" She smirked as she felt his growing desire.

The Doctor gulped, "No. Amy, you have to go upstairs right now-"

"To your room?" She interrupted cheekily.

"No!" He cried, "Oh, God!"

"Just Amy," she breathed, and pressed her lips to his firmly.

Everything inside the Doctor shattered – his hearts exploded with joy and his insides squirmed in triumph. His hands gripped Amy's hips as her mouth worked his, and he let himself be consumed by the passion raging within them both.

Amy sensed the Doctor's defeat, and joyously pressed herself tighter to him, her tongue running along his bottom lip and begging for entrance. The Doctor had gone too far to deny her now, and so his mouth opened to her as she eagerly wriggled her tongue inside to explore him thoroughly. He moaned as Amy's hands ran through his hair, making his hands itch to do the same – he buried his fingers in the damp curls, with another low moan.

As soon as the Doctor's hands had left Amy's waist, the towel slipped off of her body and the movement made them both break apart and look down. The Doctor's eyes didn't stay on the crumpled towel pooled around Amy's feet for very long, and she felt a growl rumble in his chest as his gaze travelled up her body.

Without a moment's notice, the Doctor pushed her away – just so he could press her against the TARDIS control panel. Amy gasped as his hands sensually stroked the outside of her thighs, and he pressed himself between her legs as he forced her to sit on the control panel. She clung onto his shoulders to support herself, inadvertently grinding her hips against his as she did so.

The Doctor growled as Amy's finger deftly un-tucked and unbuttoned his shirt, and she pushed his jacket off of his shoulders in her haste to get to his chest. She ripped away his bowtie and grinned up at the Doctor as she pulled down his braces at an agonizingly slow pace. He growled again and she hurried up, needing the fire and pleasure that growl promised. She pushed his shirt off of his shoulders and unbuttoned his trousers quickly. Soon, he was standing there with nothing on at all, and was looking down at Amy like he wanted to devour her right there and then.

She gasped as his fingers trailed along the soft skin on the inside of her thighs, making the Doctor shiver in pleasure. Her hands locked around his neck as her teeth travelled down the Doctor's now-bare chest, nipping at the sensitive skin there. As Amy moved back, his mouth came down on hers in a searing kiss and she mewled in pleasure.

The Doctor's mouth dropped from hers, to her neck – he kissed his way down to the valley between her soft breasts. He blew cool air over the already-puckered peaks, making Amy cry out for more – he acquiesced, his mouth coming down over one aching nipple. As he worked on her chest, Amy's legs wrapped around his waist with a vengeance and pulled him towards her. He gasped when he felt his tip press against her soft, wet heat, and Amy whimpered with want.

With one hand he braced himself on the console, as the other dipped down into Amy's core. The Doctor watched her face as it contorted in pleasure, and he circled her sensitive nub, loving the looks she was gifting him with – she made him feel powerful, and he knew he couldn't hold off any longer.

Amy growled softly at the loss of his fingers, but was soon appeased as the Doctor's hand pressed against the small of her back, holding her still for him. Her thighs parted wider, arching her hips up to his, and he hissed as he was completely enveloped by her heat.

"_Yes_," Amy breathed, urging him on and rolling her hips against his lightly.

As the Doctor closed his eyes and made both of their wildest fantasies come true with his movements, Amy had the awful, niggling feeling that she remembered some kind of recent pleasure like this. Not to this magnitude, but she had the feeling that it wasn't _that_ long ago that she had made love. Even as she enjoyed the Doctor's body against and inside hers, she couldn't help but try and place when the last time she had made love _was_.

To be honest, she couldn't remember a time at all - _ever_.

The Doctor, unaware of her internal battle, groaned as he felt her thighs tighten around him – it was out of fear, not pleasure.

Amy _knew_ she wasn't a virgin, she _knew _she had sex before, but she couldn't remember for the life of her. She knew she had only had one sexual partner before the Doctor now, but there was no memory of their time together – she replayed her life up until she re-met the Doctor, but there was no one.

Suddenly, she felt a flash of something – a flash of memory.

_She was lying on a bed nervously waiting for Him, and he was meant to be home any second. They had been going-out for a while, but now she felt she was ready – she wanted Him to be her first. She heard Him coming up the stairs, and then he was in the room, looking incredibly surprised and quite nervous himself. Suddenly the memory skipped, and He was inside of her, looking at her with an adoring gaze._

But Amy couldn't remember a thing about the guy, and she couldn't see his face properly in the dim light, either.

The Doctor was so close to his release now, and he was so far gone that he took Amy's tenseness as a good sign that she was close as well. With one final push, he sent himself over the edge and he cried Amy's name as he fell. After a moment, when the sensations had subsided, he realised that Amy was being awfully quiet – he could only hear his own hurried and frenzied breathing.

He opened his eyes slowly, a goofy smile on his face, "You're so beautiful."

It was in that moment that Amy's world cracked and fell away.

"_I don't understand… We were on the hill… I can't die here…" Rory's face contorted into a pained frown._

_Amy choked back her tears, "Don't say that."_

"_You're so beautiful…" Rory whispered with his last breath, "I'm sorry."_

When the Doctor's eyes focused on Amy's horror-stricken face, he knew that she remembered.

"Rory…" She whispered brokenly.

Guilt washed over the Doctor like a tidal wave, but before he could do or say anything, Amy pushed him away and scrambled off the console.

"Oh, God… Oh, God…" She breathed, trying to cover up her exposed body.

She grabbed the towel off the floor, wrapped it around her shaking body, and ran.

* * *

The Doctor hadn't seen Amy in over a day now – well, he had, but not in person. He had fiddled with the TARDIS monitor, until it co-operated and showed him where she was. The scene that flickered before his eyes broke his heart – Amy was curled up on her bed, crying her heart out as her body was wracked with sobs.

Amy wasn't mad at the Doctor as he thought she was, she was mad at Rory for dying, mad at herself for forgetting him, and even _more_ mad at herself for not feeling any pain… She wasn't numb – she knew that, she could feel all her new feelings for the Doctor coursing through her body. So why wasn't she miserable that Rory was dead? She was upset, of course, but she didn't feel like it was the end of the world as she thought she should feel – she felt like she had never really loved Rory.

Had she ever loved Rory? She could remember implying she did, but did she _really_…or was she covering?

"Argh!" She screamed into her pillow, unaware that the Doctor was being eaten alive by guilt, as he watched her rock backwards and forwards in a comforting motion.

She hated herself for not loving Rory like she should have – like he _deserved_. He was better than she could give, and all she could do now was focus on her feelings towards the Doctor. She felt awful.

* * *

"A… Amy?" The Doctor called tentatively as he knocked on Amy's bedroom door.

He had been keeping a close eye on her from the monitor as she stayed in her room for over a week. She had everything she needed to survive in there, and the Doctor was quite happy to let Amy work it all out of her system – that was until the TARDIS refused to show her anymore.

"Amy? Are you alright?" He called out again, but this time he tried the door handle – it was open. "I'm coming in."

As he pushed open the door silently, he was greeted by an enveloping darkness. He walked in and tried the light switch to find that it didn't work. He pulled out his sonic screwdriver, switched it on and the green light fell on Amy's unconscious form slumped over the edge of the bed.

"No! Amy!" He shouted, rushing to her and lifting her head up.

She groaned – she was having a wonderful dream about her Doctor, and now some idiot was ruining it and trying to wake her up.

_Well_, she thought, _I don't want to wake up…_

It had been some time since Amy forgave herself for Rory's death, and forgetting him, _and_ sleeping with the Doctor, and then having quite large, romantic feelings for him. But the Doctor never came to see if she was alright, or if she was even _alive_ – so she began to eat less, and move less. In fact, she had been lying on that bed with half her body hanging over the edge for some time – so long that the blood had rushed to her head and caused all her fantasies to replay themselves before her eyes.

That was until the annoying person who was shaking her awake, stumbled into her heavenly dreaming.

"Go away," she managed. "I'm dreaming."

"No, Amy. No, you're not. You're ill," she heard a remarkably familiar voice say.

The Doctor carried Amy out of the darkness of her room, and into the light of his. He laid her down on his bed, ignoring every cell in his body that rejoiced at this picture – since he had had her, he had wanted _more_. He shook his head, clearing his thoughts, and brushed the hair out of Amy's dark eyes – she needed his help.

Amy liked the feel of the person's warm hands touching her face, and she nuzzled them unthinkingly. The Doctor tried to ignore this, but he smiled at her adorable actions – he had truly missed her, and his heart had ached like there was an Amy-shaped hole in it. He checked her pulse – which was getting stronger by the minute – and her body, for any damage. She looked thinner, and more pale, but aside from the dark emotions – he was sure were coursing through her – and the rush of blood to the head, she was well.

"Amy? Can you hear me?" He said softly, and she nodded.

"Yes, you total git," Amy sighed, peeved but growing used to the interruption in her fantasies – this interruption sounded quite nice, his touch was heavenly, and he was so achingly familiar.

The Doctor laughed, relieved, "Little Amelia Pond, you are _fab_."

Amy groaned, "Did you _really_ just say 'fab'?"

"Of course," he teased. "It's my new word."

"You need another," she said quietly, her head clearing, and she had placed his voice.

Her eyes began to work again and she opened them a crack to see the Doctor grinning down at her.

"Good evening," the Doctor chuckled. "You know, this really is the first time I've actually ever gotten to play Doctor properly."

The same thought entered both their heads at the same time – the same fantasy.

Amy gave him a naughty smirk, which made his hands tremble, "Can I be a nurse?"

The Doctor gulped as the image of Amy wearing a sexy nurse's outfit came into his head – he sorely wished he didn't have the same desires as a normal human man, because this would be so much easier.

Instead he had choke back his desire, and stare down at Amy firmly, "No. You are a patient, because patients are unwell people and you fit into that category quite nicely, Amy."

Amy huffed, "I'm not unwell."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, "Oh, no?"

"No," she frowned, "I'm not. I feel better – it's just you with all your bloody avoidance that makes me _unwell_."

Amy looked around the room, anywhere but at the Doctor – she took in the dark blue walls, and the dark red bed sheets, and the golden gadgets and doo-hickeys on his untidy desk. The Doctor gazed down at Amy, increasingly aware that he was kneeling over her on the bed still, but he couldn't find it within him to move.

He had made Amy unwell? How had he done that? Avoidance, she had said…

"Amy…I thought you wanted to be alone. I thought you were angry at me…at what I had done," he said quietly, hating himself with every cell in his body – it felt as bad as rape now, when Amy had not enjoyed a moment of it and he had made her remember her dead fiancée.

Amy had to look at him then, "What? You were…" She wanted to say 'perfect,' and so she did without another thought, "Perfect."

The Doctor stared at her incredulously, "What? I ruined your memories of Rory…"

As he trailed off, she could see that he was blaming himself for _everything_, "No, Doctor – you didn't. That's why I got upset… You… You made me feel _good_…when I didn't think I should have felt good. It felt wrong to love you, when I should have loved Rory. But I can't help it… I've grieved for him, but I can't do anything else. I won't destroy myself – not when I want you."

Truly, she hadn't meant to say that much. She had meant to take the blame away from him – after all, he was only been doing what they _both_ wanted – but then she realised her fatal error. She had said she loved him… Oh, God. She did love him, but she didn't want to _tell_ him.

The Doctor's mind was stuck in a continual loop – _it felt wrong to love you… It felt wrong to love you… Love you… Love you…_

He snapped out of it when Amy started to push him away from her – he was having none of it. He held her to the bed as she refused to look him in the eye.

"Amy, say it again," he said quietly, almost dangerously.

Amy tensed, but didn't fight, "I love you."

Every inch of the Doctor's body took off in ecstasy, and he realised that he had been denying himself the same epiphany.

"I love you, too," he whispered, and Amy's eyes shot up to his face.

He couldn't help but kiss her sweet lips, and Amy whimpered as she held his face to hers. His tongue licked at her bottom lip, asking to claim her mouth, and she gave it up to him wholeheartedly. The Doctor's body refused to stay off of Amy's a second longer, and he ungracefully fell on top of her. Amy giggled as she wrapped her arms around him and arched up, making him groan.

"You are too wonderful for your own good, little Amelia Pond," he breathed into her ear, making her shiver with desire.

"Please, Doctor. I've waited for you," she whimpered as his hands de-clothed her, and she found her hands doing exactly the same thing to him.

Soon their skins were touching, and Amy couldn't remember a more wonderful feeling. She stroked his length teasingly, trying to make him give her what she wanted – she wanted _him_, _now_. It worked. He gasped and growled, nudging her thighs apart with his knee and settling between her lovely legs. With a couple more bites and teasing kisses, he was inside her and they were touching heaven.

Her nails scraped down his back, leaving passionate marks in his pale skin, and Amy kissed his neck hard so she could leave a reminder of her on him in plain sight. She only briefly thought of Rory as the Doctor plunged into her – it was fleeting, more like a final goodbye than anything else. She was letting him go as she finally gave all of herself up to the wonderful man who was currently doing wonderful things to her body. She couldn't believe she had missed out on all of this the first time.

The Doctor was deliriously happy when he felt Amy respond to his body, as her hips met his in time with his thrusts, and this time he didn't close his eyes for a second. They watched each other as they panted and moaned, forcing the other to keep looking into their eyes – Amy didn't think she had ever seen more beautiful eyes than the Doctor's: so deep, knowledgeable and soulful.

They could both feel the crescendo coming – the coil in Amy's stomach tightened to the nth degree, and the Doctor felt tingles rush along his spine.

He could see and feel Amy's pleasure, but he wasn't taking any chances, "Amy? Are you ready, my little Amelia?"

"_Yes_," she hissed, her heels digging into his backside and pressing him deeper inside her.

He suddenly hit her most secret spot, and she screamed out his name as she shook and convulsed around him. Her pleasure drove him over the edge, and he released with an almighty roar of her name. They both slowly slipped down from their high, feeling the electricity zinging through their bodies.

The Doctor collapsed, his head finding a warm spot to rest in the crook of Amy's neck. Amy inhaled the scent from the Doctor's sweet skin, knowing that there would never be another who could smell as good as him, or feel as good as him… The list was endless – he was the _best_.

"I love you," he mumbled into her shoulder, kissing the soft skin there.

"I love you, too," she sighed, her fingers stroking his spine.

Tingles shot along his body, and he grinned into her shoulder, "Mmm, are you ready, my little Amelia?"

"For what?" She asked, and was gifted with a wicked laugh.

"A second helping," he chuckled, kissing her collarbone and then pulling back to look into her eyes.

"Really?" She asked, wanting everything he could give her.

"Oh, my lovely Amy," the Doctor smirked, kissing her cheek. "You have so much to learn about me, and the first lesson is durability."

* * *

Amy sat in the open door of the TARDIS, with her feet hanging out over the edge into space. It had been three glorious days since the time they had spent in the Doctor's bedroom, and they hadn't moved very far from that room since then. They ate, and laughed, and talked, and kissed, and played, and made love… They did so many wonderful things – in fact, this was the longest Amy had ever spent away from the Doctor in those three days. He had only just run off to find a suitable bowtie for the party he was taking her to.

Amy looked down at the tight-fitting, purple silk dress she wore, and smiled as she thought of dancing with the Doctor in it, and having him ogle her in it, and having him ripping it off of her later…

"I'm back! Pesky things! I never have the colour I want," the Doctor complained, and then stopped and smiled at Amy as he saw her.

She was looking back at him over her shoulder, with a sweet smile that made him want to kiss her as he had been for the past three days, but he couldn't or they would be late to the party, and he didn't like being late if he could help it. But as he watched the star-speckled universe shine behind Amy's beautiful form, he realised he couldn't help it.

He sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her waist, "Hello, little Amelia Pond. Looking at space, are we?"

Amy nodded, resting her head on his shoulder, "I was just thinking how beautiful everything is."

"Including you?" He grinned, and she rolled her eyes.

"Including _you_," she smirked as he chuckled.

"Of course. I'm incredibly beautiful," he sighed, nuzzling Amy's neck.

"I love you," Amy breathed, lifting his face to hers.

He nudged her nose with his own, "And I love you."

"Now, that's cleared up, we can go party!" She grinned and hopped up, pulling the Doctor up with her.

He waltzed her over to the console, "One dazzling alien bash, coming up!"

"Careful, now – that can lead a girl on, you know," Amy teased and the Doctor re-played his words in his mind and then laughed.

"That will come later, my lovely Amy," he growled playfully, and Amy shivered.

"I hope so," she winked.

The Doctor shook his head, clearing his thoughts, "Right. Dancing. Now, one dazzling alien _ball_, coming up!"

Although Amy was anticipating the party and then the _after_ party, she was anticipating their future more. She slipped her hand into his as the TARDIS started up, and he smiled at her – the entire world fell away in that moment, and Amy was thanking her lucky stars that the Doctor was the man who wanted to dance her among them.

**

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(A/N: All reviews welcome, and appreciated! (: )


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